Night

It's time to go to sleep I know...

I used to not, know that is

I would stay up as long as I could

Creating, Building, Thinking...

How can I make this look like it could fly?

I wonder if I can build a zipline off my bunkbed?

If I'm quiet enough will my parents hear me?

I feel special

This is my time

Things make more since at night

The world has quieted enough to listen

My eyes will start to shut themselves

they aren't worried about time,

just what is

Tired

Sleep now

The moon will still rise

and the stars will still shine

Tomorrow is another adventure

You have time

I just need a little help from my friend.... aka Jesus

I think sometimes I forget that God doesn't expect perfection from us. There have been so many days lately where I just feel so down on myself because I haven't reached this point where I have it all figured out. I know that is dumb because I will never have it all figured out, but it still gets to me. Lately I have just kept forgetting over and over again that my God is a loving one and that he wants nothing more than to help me become the kind of person I know he wants me to be. I want to have faith in this next week. Faith that God isn't tired of me not being perfect, or tired of my constant request. Faith that God wants to help, and that I can let him in.

There goes a leaf...and another...and another...

When I was in about the second grade, I remember walking home from school one day. My bus stop was about 2 blocks away and the leaves had already fallen thickly on the ground. I got to my front lawn and looked up at the sky. I don't remember the sky part but I imagine it much have been amazing because even as a second grader I laid down in the leaves to look at it. I just stared up and realized how at peace and happy I was. I told myself that I would never forget that moment, and I still haven't.

To be honest that may be one of the last times I ever felt like a kid. That was before Vermont, divorce, hospitals, trials, more divorce, more trials. I hold on to that moment though, because it reminds me of a lot. It reminds me that there will be a day when I experience that peace and joy once again. It reminds me why I fight for the kids I interact with, and what I want for them. It reminds me that God is good, and he gives us moments of such beauty that they can outlast 13 years of tough times. Light will always overthrow the darkness. I'm living with the hope that some of that light will shine through me.

Light and Leaves

I'm very content with this title. I usually struggle for hours on things like that, but this one just came to me. Light and Leaves has a lot of meaning to me. It's hard to explain but it is just one of those things that reminds me of God's beauty. Have you ever laid on a picnic table or the ground and just looked up at the trees on a sunny day? It's something I've found myself doing more and more over the years. I'll just lay there looking up marveling at how you can block out the sun just by moving your head a little. The rays of sunlight light up the leaves and you can see the veins in them if you look hard enough. The breeze will move the leaves and it's one of the most peaceful things in the world to me. It reminds me that in all the craziness of the world there is still beauty.

Light and Leaves